Sunday, January 15, 2006

so far such a good day

How it started: three hours of meditation at the Shambhala Center. How is it possible to remain engaged in such an intense activity for three solid hours?? I never intended to stay for the whole thing. I showed up at 9 and planned to leave after the first hour or so. And I could have. I could have slipped away during any of the walking sessions and no one would've noticed. Other people were, after all, coming and going throughout the session. I kept thinking each time I walked past the door "next time around, I'll leave." But each "next" time around, I found myself walking on, staying, not leaving. And I'm so glad I did. After two weeks with my family -- two weeks of wall to wall television, daily meat consumption, passive aggression from the much-hated stepmother, bad memories, etc -- I needed a good cleanse of some kind. I'm still feeling a little shell-shocked, but after this morning it's much more manageable.

After all that I met a friend for coffee. A friend who will very likely read this entry tomorrow from her cozy office in the building where we both work, so I can't divulge too much... Suffice it to say, good conversation and piercing eyes. Two Scorpions locked in. A very nice time.

And now looking forward to an evening at the dyke bar watching the L word (lesbian soap opera on cable for anyone who doesn't already know). Meeting some friends from school and wondering about two possibilities, one good, one bad. The bad possibility is that C.B. will show up. This dyke bar, after all, is historically her stomping ground and it would not surprise me if she turned up at some point. However, I know she's been laying low lately. Playing the hermit. And I know she recently had some bad experiences there, so it's equally likely that she won't go there again for awhile. We'll see.

The good possibility is that Mog will show up. Mog is good friends with Big A who will be there. I invited Big A with the knowledge that she might, in turn, invite Mog, but I in no way made this known. I was just aware of the possibility. I almost invited Mog myself, but I looked back at the Mog-dump email she sent me at the beginning of December and I felt a renewed annoyance with her. Stupid Mog. She's too neurotic. But she's oh-so-cute. A minor conundrum. Again, I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

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