Wednesday, January 25, 2006

time to buckle down

I thought I was already buckled down, but I was wrong. I was buckled, but my belt was somewhat loose.

In the interest of not just continuing to complain about how busy I am and how sick I am of not having a place to live and how much I dread all the packing I have to do and how hard my semester is going to be and how overwhelmed I'm feeling (didn't I already complain about all this already?) -- I'm gonna keep it brief.

Yesterday, in an emotional stupor after my counseling appointment, I ended up sucked into the whirlwind of my internship -- the bird-lady-lawyer, with her rapid-fire orientation to social security law and then an enormous and taxing project dumped in my lap with, what's that?? Why it's a big, fat, court deadline. Reeling and thinking "yes, I'm supposed to give this woman ten hours of my time a week yet this project will probably take twice that," and calculating the packing and the apartment hunting and everything else that has it's own, non-court deadline (like the Feb. 1st move-out that needs to happen from CB's) -- I wanted to scream.

I told the woman, the bird-lady-lawyer, "Listen, my life is really tumultuous right now, homeless, yadda yadda. I swear I'm not the kind of person who always has some kind of drama..." And she says, smiling, in all sincerity, "Yeah, I hear you. But in practice, the court doesn't care what's happening in your life. So find a place to live. Get your shit together, and get to work."

She literally said "get your shit together and get to work."

I would've guessed that this would make me want to kick her in the teeth, but it was invigorating. I thought "Yeah! I just have to get my shit together! I have to buck up and work hard and make it happen." Imagine some inspiring, sort-of military theme music playing in the background. Or the theme from Rocky.

I just have to work my ass off.

No problem, I'll get right on it.... Tomorrow morning. Tonight, I need a beer.


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