where do i get off?

My exhaustion is boring, even to me. Who am I to whine all the time when I'm really living such a happy life so much of the time? Maybe I'm just embarrassed that so much of my happiness seems to result from my relationship with SK, as though self-generated happiness is the only kind worth having, and relationship-happiness is second rate. Bollocks, as SK might say. That's ridiculous.

SK and I are having a pretty happy time of it. We had lots of adventures this weekend, starting with a mosquito ambush on Sauvie Island. Sure, the sand was filthy and the people were creepy and I had a headache and wished for a bunker-buster bomb to come and wipe us all out -- regardless, when I look back, it makes a nice memory. Sauvie Island was gorgeous. SK was as kind and magnanimous as ever. And I bought a new straw cowboy hat for ten bucks at Walgreens (constructed, I'm sure, by some nine year old in Indonesia, dammit all) specifically for that trip. All in all, it was good.

We also took, over the weekend, two super-long walks through Forest Park, proving once and for all that I am not a completely sedentary blob. SK, so impressed by the improval of my stamina over the past few months, offered to finance for me a new pair of ultra-fancy Keen hiking sandals. They're all the rage among the outdoorsy-yuppie NW Portland crowd. I've been coveting them for a couple months now but couldn't afford them. Sunday afternoon all that changed when SK took me to REI and fronted the cash for a "berry" colored pair which are gorgeous and which I completely love. The plan had been a slow payback of the entire amount, but now SK has decided that she only wants paid back for half. "One shoe," she says. "I have bought you one shoe. The left one."

I love these oh-so-comfy hiking sandals so much, I actually walked all the way to work yesterday just so I could enjoy my new shoes. The walk is three or four miles and took over an hour. On the way, I stopped at Wild Oats to buy SK a lovely, orange lily to make her office cheerful this week. I had hoped I could make it to work fifteen or so minutes early so I'd have a few minutes to spend with SK before my shift started, however, the walk took longer than I anticipated and I got anxious as the minutes slipped by and I felt so far away. SK called my cell as I was crossing the Broadway Bridge and she promised to watch for me out the bathroom window (which has a great view of the direction I'd be coming from). However, the walk from the bridge to work seemed to take forever and when I finally made it to the building and up three flights of stairs to SK's office, she was gone! Gone!

I was astonished. I laid the flower on her desk and ran to the bathroom (where I hoped I'd find SK watching for me out the window) to change into a non-sweaty shirt for work. No SK. Then I ran downstairs, where I thought SK might be waiting for me by the front door (which I'd bypassed by taking the sneaky side-door in), but no SK there either. By then I was sucked into shift change activities -- I counted the narcotics in the med the cart with Mexinugget, then went up to the loft for shift report, wherein the log was read. (Is SK waiting in the loft? No.) Once all the shift change formalities were over, I ran back down and called a coworker in an office to ask what had happened to SK. "She left before you got here."

What??

I was so confused.

Turns out, SK decided to try and catch me coming off the bridge so we could have some quality time together outside of work before my shift started. As soon as we got off the phone, she hopped on her bike and cycled like mad to catch me at the bottom of the bridge... but alas, I never came off the bottom of the bridge. I thought I'd be clever and take the pedestrian staircase down *waaaaay* before the bottom of the bridge. Instead of happilly walking into the surprise arms of SK, waiting not far away, I skipped down an infinitely long staircase and walked through the Yards apartments, across their skybridge which took me over the train station, and finally up to my work. SK and I were like ships passing in the night. We had no idea we were missing each other in such a silly yet well-meaning way.

We sorted it out on the phone later and both felt sweetly heartbroken about it. Being in love makes everything sweetly heartbreaking. It's awesome.