Monday, June 16, 2008


I guess a bunch of old gays got married in California today. If you'd told me ten years ago that this day would come and I wouldn't be all that excited, I would've thought you were crazy. But... you know... ho hum.

I read the little Yahoo headline about Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon getting hitched after 50+ years of togetherness... and good for them. Good for all those lucky gays who have gotten or will get hitched in California over the next few weeks. And good for US here in Oregon where we can get civilly united or domestically partnered or whatever it is we can do now.

I just think... well, two things. First I think "It's about fucking time and how about the rest of the country??" And I also think "...and for how long? Which ballot measure/constitutional amendment/unfavorable judicial opinion will come along and wipe this one out too?" Because the voters giveth and the voters taketh away. Or the firebrand, radical politicians giveth and the voters taketh away. Or the voters giveth and the conservative judicary taketh away. Whatever.

I think I was just too damaged by the 2004 elections. I watched this country re-elect Mr. Monkey Face and ban same sex marriage in a dozen states. I watched MYSELF and MY WIFE become public enemy number one, the same-sex couple who was threatening to ruin the fabric of western society and single-handedly demolish the totality of Judeo Christian values just by attempting to become legally responsible for each other's welfare. God forbid. God forbid we buy a truck together. God forbid we get a joint insurance policy. God forbid we take out a mortgage together. I can feel the foundations of American culture shaking beneath my feet just thinking about it.

So here we are four years later and suddenly we've got gay marriage in one more state and a black candidate for president and I just can't get my enthusiasm up to save my life. I want to buy an Obama "HOPE" sticker, I want to wear a button or a t-shirt or something. But the thought that he might NOT win... that he probably WON'T win... that we might still be just as stupid and short-sighted as we were four (and/or eight) years ago...

Maybe it's PTSD. I just can't let myself feel hopeful. And I'm too anxious to be excited for the gays in California. If they're still married in twelve months (and if we have a black president), THEN maybe I'll celebrate...


Blogger heather said...

i felt that way until a) i saw pictures/had people tell me of celebrating couples and b) saw mr. sulu and his partner on GMA yesterday. they were soooo cute being so excited about getting married, it was infectious. i even teared up.

don't get me wrong. i'm still cynical as shit and have said and thought all the things you just said. but i guess, baby steps.

4:59 PM  

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