Sunday, December 07, 2008

kinda sad when you think about it

Mera and I went down on Friday and registered our domestic partnership. First I figured out how to print out the form on 8 1/2 by 14 inch paper (required technology only available at work). Then we both took off work early Friday so we could go get the form notarized at Kinko's by a guy named Jeff. Mera took many pictures of Jeff with his stamp, Jeff signing the paper, me watching Jeff fill out the paper, and best of all, many pictures of all of us together, Mera's arm straining to reach far enough back with the camera to capture herself as well as the rest of us and the form.

After that we drove over to the Multnomah County building where more pictures were taken of: me opening the door of the building, me opening the door of the office where you register your marriages, domestic partnerships and tax stuff, the sign above the counter that says, among other things, domestic partnership registry, the man behind the inch-thick bullet-proof plexiglass holding up our signed, notarized declaration, and of course, more pictures of me and Mera taken by Mera stretching her arm waaaay out and aiming haphazardly, kissing me on the cheek, then me kissing her on the cheek, then her kissing me on the mouth and I was just, by that point, really uncomfortable having my picture taken so much in public and just ready to get in the car and go.

Saturday morning, as we sat on the couch with our tea, we heard the pitter-patter of little feet on the porch. Mera's brother Fr@nkie had come with her nephews to bring us a bouquet of flowers. I guess they're my nephews now too. And Fr@nkie's my brother-in-law. Anyway, Fr@nkie seemed somewhat scandalized when he asked if I'd called to tell my parents about my nuptials and I looked at him like he was crazy and shook my head. It's complicated.

It's all complicated. I'm just happy to have legal protections. I don't expect anybody in my family to be all that interested. Maybe I sell them short. Maybe they've given me plenty of reasons to sell them short. Maybe I just want to relax and know that Mera and I have some rights as regarding each other, that I can see her in the hospital, that we can make medical decisions for each other. But maybe I don't even feel comfortable with *that* because maybe it turns out I'm still not convinced another ballot initiative won't come along and take it away again.

So it's bittersweet, really.


Blogger roro said...

Congratulations to you and Mera!! That's so lovely!! Yay love!

Family stuff and asshole governments make everything complicated. But I hope the sweet overwhelms the bitter and also that you post some damn photos. No pressure.

I love that you got the form notarized at Kinko's. We got our marriage license at a London Drugs. Very surreal.

8:43 PM  
Blogger honey said...


I know the feeling, though, especially with all the prop 8 stuff recently making everything weird. Agent and I sent out announcements when we did the deed and even that was hard for me to do because I knew my family wouldn't care. I just kept reminding myself I was doing it for me and Agent, not for anyone else.

9:43 AM  
Blogger not drowning waving said...

hey!! celebrations!!
and sorry for the family stuff, and the re-appearance of that 'role' of 'scandalized' one.... i really know you know what you are doing with juggling all that GA/FL stuff and though i hate it for you, it's great you have other family, extended now which is also yours ...
and friends... also yours
yay LOVE!!

12:03 PM  
Blogger heather said...

i feel you on the whole sorta-apathy thing. that said, it's unbelievable how affirming it felt, even just within our relationship, to have a commitment ceremony. we got a DP thing much later (once it was an option) but anyways, congratulations. i think we need to celebrate all the victories we can.

3:56 PM  

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