the most difficult conversation yet

I called C.B. today and left a message. She returned my call about an hour ago. She sounded great. She sounded better than she's sounded since I met her. She's got a job, she's working a lot, she hasn't had a drink since December. Which made it that much more difficult to say "Yes, I really am done with our relationship." We were both crying when we got off the phone. I love her so much, but I don't want to be with her. And that's all there is to it. I'm sure I'll be reflecting on this a lot more soon... for now, class is starting...