i love my job
After five years working weekends at my job in some way or another, I'm switching my shift up and today was my last Saturday! Yay. Now I can do normal weekend stuff with normal people who do stuff on weekends. Like... I can't think of anything. But, I'm sure there will be lots of cool things to do... eventually....
So, no more Saturdays means no more Saturday games group and no more BINGO! Today was my last trip to the Dollar Tree at the Lloyd Center Mall for cheap bingo prizes. (I say it's my last trip, but I'm already concocting a scheme to start a Wednesday night games group that will kick Saturday games group's ass!) -- I've been loading up on bingo prizes at the Dollar Tree every week for a few months now and I always wonder what the people in line are thinking about the bizarre pile of shit I'm always buying. Like: "Why's that lady buying four pairs of cheap ass bedroom slippers, cans of shaving cream, 100 pounds of stale candy, packs upon packs of lighters, silver glitter make-up, screwdriver sets and crayons??" Among other things. These are the prizes one buys for homeless people who play bingo. Ok, they're not technically homeless, but they live in a shelter and they're "officially" homeless for the statisticians who keep tallies on who's got a home and who don't.
Today, because it was my last day, I treated myself to a very special bingo prize, all for ME, the bingo-caller. It was a surprisingly effective WATER CANNON and it only cost a DOLLAR! Amazing. I like to call it the Bingo Enforcer and I used it today to blast the hell out of all the people who think it's hilarious to call out "BINGO!" after I've only called two numbers, or the people who make me repeat numbers 100 times, or who otherwise act like smart-alleck assholes. Let me tell you, water-blast-bingo was *awesome* -- the best bingo ever. I also bought lots of extra chocolate, and that always keeps everybody happy. The best part was when my pretend boyfriend, Fat Tony, stole my water cannon completely right out from under my nose, before I'd even put water in it. I had no idea it wasn't still sitting next to me on the bench and then suddenly I was getting *blasted* with water from the kitchen. That rat bastard! So I jumped up and ran into the kitchen to wrestle it away from him.
I love my job.
So, no more Saturdays means no more Saturday games group and no more BINGO! Today was my last trip to the Dollar Tree at the Lloyd Center Mall for cheap bingo prizes. (I say it's my last trip, but I'm already concocting a scheme to start a Wednesday night games group that will kick Saturday games group's ass!) -- I've been loading up on bingo prizes at the Dollar Tree every week for a few months now and I always wonder what the people in line are thinking about the bizarre pile of shit I'm always buying. Like: "Why's that lady buying four pairs of cheap ass bedroom slippers, cans of shaving cream, 100 pounds of stale candy, packs upon packs of lighters, silver glitter make-up, screwdriver sets and crayons??" Among other things. These are the prizes one buys for homeless people who play bingo. Ok, they're not technically homeless, but they live in a shelter and they're "officially" homeless for the statisticians who keep tallies on who's got a home and who don't.
Today, because it was my last day, I treated myself to a very special bingo prize, all for ME, the bingo-caller. It was a surprisingly effective WATER CANNON and it only cost a DOLLAR! Amazing. I like to call it the Bingo Enforcer and I used it today to blast the hell out of all the people who think it's hilarious to call out "BINGO!" after I've only called two numbers, or the people who make me repeat numbers 100 times, or who otherwise act like smart-alleck assholes. Let me tell you, water-blast-bingo was *awesome* -- the best bingo ever. I also bought lots of extra chocolate, and that always keeps everybody happy. The best part was when my pretend boyfriend, Fat Tony, stole my water cannon completely right out from under my nose, before I'd even put water in it. I had no idea it wasn't still sitting next to me on the bench and then suddenly I was getting *blasted* with water from the kitchen. That rat bastard! So I jumped up and ran into the kitchen to wrestle it away from him.
I love my job.
posted by reasonably prudent poet at 6:30 PM
1 Comments:
Great post! I think that if this whole law school think doesn't work out for you, this "Bingo Enforcer" thing could really take you places. Any reasonably prudent person would say the same.
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