countdown

T-minus 31 minutes and counting until I can pick up my only exam and take it. I'm sitting in the LRC near a table full of my friends, listening to them have ridiculous conversations that have nothing to do with whatever exams they're all here to take. I'm not interacting with them. I don't need to. I just like being near enough to hear them. I also like knowing that they'd welcome me into the conversation if I felt like joining.

I can't study anymore. I didn't study very much, not compared to the amount I've studied for other exams in the past. I have lots of excuses for why, but it's also in the field not to study this semester. I was listening to my table of friends earlier and they were all commiserating about their lack of motivation. After three years, we're all a little burnt. The urge to make good grades is dead in all of us and the fear of failing is also pretty dead. Taking these exams (which are grueling and hard by objective standards) has become mechanical for us. And that's almost scary.