the day after is still

I slept peacefully last night after much crying and grieving. Through all the pain I knew I'd made the right decision and I felt an underlying strength that I wouldn't have guessed would be there. Thank god. Without it I would've been a basket case.

And here I am today. I've been at school since early this morning -- the last day of Mon/Wed classes, so I'm actually attending all of them for a change. E-mailing throughout them all, though, soaking up the support of friends. Mog is conspicuously absent from my in-box lately, which I guess I understand. I'm surprisingly not sad about it, just mildly disappointed. I feel so much more focused on myself right now. It feels good.

I also feel more clear about missing CB. I feel more clear about how much I love her, though I know leaving is the right decision for both of us now. Hard, painful. But right.