life simply brightens
The sun comes out, the sky gets blue, the streets are full of petals as new leaves shove old blossoms out of place, and I suddenly realize I'm happy!
After that talk with Kiwi and the meeting w/ birdlady -- it's like everything's falling into place. CB's out. I'm done. No more foolish notions of maintaining a friendship -- that was bullshit anyway. The lightening flash I got from Kiwi was that I'd been in a codependent relationship and that I was STILL in a codependent relationship with CB. Once that finally sunk in, I realized how completely foolish I've been. Naive and optimistic, but foolish. And wrong.
Then, birdlady -- I am finally on solid ground with her and I feel suddenly very excited to know I'll be getting paid to do her drudgery in three weeks. I'm right on the cusp of stepping up -- my first paid legal job. Sure, I won't be paid particularly well, but I'll be paid in line w/ what other clerks in the area are being paid -- better than many, actually. So what if my job at the homeless shelter pays better and gives me insurance and a free bus pass. The legal job will pay off in the future.
Meanwhile, I just had a super long, super fun conversation with SK who called from a phone box in some tiny town between Melbourne and Sydney. I hate talking on the phone, but I could talk to SK for 100 hours. I'm so glad she likes me. So glad she's coming back here in one week and six days. And so glad she still wants to be my girlfriend.
Next trick -- to learn how to NOT be in a codependent relationship. A lesson I never thought I'd have to learn, and yet... here we are.
After that talk with Kiwi and the meeting w/ birdlady -- it's like everything's falling into place. CB's out. I'm done. No more foolish notions of maintaining a friendship -- that was bullshit anyway. The lightening flash I got from Kiwi was that I'd been in a codependent relationship and that I was STILL in a codependent relationship with CB. Once that finally sunk in, I realized how completely foolish I've been. Naive and optimistic, but foolish. And wrong.
Then, birdlady -- I am finally on solid ground with her and I feel suddenly very excited to know I'll be getting paid to do her drudgery in three weeks. I'm right on the cusp of stepping up -- my first paid legal job. Sure, I won't be paid particularly well, but I'll be paid in line w/ what other clerks in the area are being paid -- better than many, actually. So what if my job at the homeless shelter pays better and gives me insurance and a free bus pass. The legal job will pay off in the future.
Meanwhile, I just had a super long, super fun conversation with SK who called from a phone box in some tiny town between Melbourne and Sydney. I hate talking on the phone, but I could talk to SK for 100 hours. I'm so glad she likes me. So glad she's coming back here in one week and six days. And so glad she still wants to be my girlfriend.
Next trick -- to learn how to NOT be in a codependent relationship. A lesson I never thought I'd have to learn, and yet... here we are.
posted by reasonably prudent poet at 6:34 PM
2 Comments:
Isn't it a wonderful feeling when it all crystalizes and you realize that you can finally just move forward?
It's almost like you can physically feel the burden of crap lift off your shoulders.
Congratulations on the legal job, too!!
from birdland extraordinaire
the tufster reappears
wings out stretched
plume aplombed
yeah for you
and the "crap lift off your shoulders"
love
tufty
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