staff retreat!

Tomorrow we are all going to Oxbow Park just outside Troutdale for a staff retreat. We will eat hamburgers, consider swimming in the river and pretend we like each other for a few hours only because we are being paid to attend. It's pretty fucking pathetic, really. Back in the good ol' days when I first started at this joint, we were all friends and we all hung out outside work together like a big happy family. Now... we're like a big, dysfunctional family full of passive-aggressive backstabbers and lazy sacks of shit who don't pull their weight and don't care. It's awesome!

The best place to be tomorrow will be here, at work. While all the real staff are yawning and sniping at each other at the park, this place will be staffed by on-callers. On-callers are the substitute teachers of this line of work. They aren't around much, they don't know all the rules, and they're easy to take advantage of. I hope the residents have a crazy-go-nuts good time and wreak lots of harmless havoc while the rest of us have no fun in the sun on our "retreat." Yee-haw.