it ain't over till the registrar calls (and scares the shit out of you)

I got a call today from a number I didn't recognize, so I didn't pick it up. In a minute the phone beeped to tell me I had a message. The message sounded like this:

"Hi, this is Scary-Lady Registrar. It is very important that you return this call as soon as possible regarding a paper for Eagle Eye Goldberg's class. Blah blah blah, thanks, etc."

I thought I was going to die. I *knew* that was a shitty paper! I KNEW IT! So this is what happens when you turn in unacceptably stupid work! The registrar calls you at home to tell you that you can't graduate!

I was nearly hyperventilating when I called her back. I wanted more than anything *not* to call her back and I was literally trembling all over when she answered the phone, but I knew I couldn't avoid it. I expected her to say, "Professor Goldberg informed me that your final paper for her class was sooooooo poorly written, so sloppily researched and so full of ridiculous formatting errors, reading it gave her an aneurysm. She says you fail."

Instead she just told me that the paper wasn't successfully sent via email yesterday and, fortunately, it wasn't too late to try again. Two more hours and I would have missed the deadline for turning shit in. Whew! So I ran to the computer and resent it and figured out how I screwed it up yesterday and now it's all really and truly turned in and I don't have to die of a heart attack anymore. Now I can *really* relax.