Tuesday, December 12, 2006

missing in oregon

I just opened up the trusty ol' yahoo news and saw that there are three climbers missing on Mt. Hood in Oregon. Jesus, after that thing with the family from San Francisco and now this, you'd think Oregon was just this giant snow-blind into which you will venture and never return. Please, people of the world, don't be afraid of Oregon. Most of it isn't trecherous at all.

In other news, I'm proud to say I work in a place with a poster on the wall that says "Why Do We Bathe?" I noticed it for the first time last night and it made me laugh out loud. I guess the nursing students made it before their interning stint ended last week. They were sweet. I guess. Anyway, they made posters all about hygeine, however, any of our clients who are able to actually read the posters are probably not the clients who really *need* to read the posters, if you know what I mean. The ones walking around in a toxic funk-cloud are mostly the ones too psychotic to know better. The poster might not sink in. If we could figure out how to get some of the "voices" to start telling them to shower and change clothes once or twice a week, then we'd be in business.

So yes, my workplace tends to stink, but last night we had delivered the mother of all air-fresheners: a ginormous x-mas tree. Every year for as long as I can remember (and probably much longer) Father D@n has donated a x-mas tree to us. I'm not really sure who this Father D@n is. He's an almost legendary figure among the street people: he's always showing up here and there, handing out coats and socks and sack lunches. And every year he brings us a tree.

Anyway, the tree was huge and heavy and wet, really wet, and Father D@n (carrying it all by his strapping, christian self) leaned it in a corner, tipped his hat to us (I swear, he really was wearing a black felt hat) and left. The tree immediately made a quick slide down the floor and we all set about wrangling up out of the way. I found the tree stand in the basement and we tried to get it all set up, but even after our best efforts, it still listed to one side. Like the problem-solvers we are, we just turned that particular side towards the window and crossed our fingers.

After all that, I wasn't even remotely interested in digging around in the basement for the ornaments and mounting a full-scale decoration attack. It stood there, bare and giving off quite the woodland aroma, until one of our clients found something to put on it. This guy is pretty psychotic and usually spends his time, as we say in the biz, "responding to internal stimuli" but last night he managed to come out of it a little. He found a little plastic star somewhere and he stuck it right on the very top of the tree. It was sweet.

So now the tree is leaning into the window and bare except for one silver star right on top. Maybe we should leave it that way, it's kind of nice. Especially since the fire marshall won't allow us to put lights on the tree, the big dumb grinch. Oh well. At least the tree totally wipes out the otherwise nasty smell that usually pervades the place. Maybe we should get trees for all the holidays, just to keep the air smelling nice. The easter tree. The fourth of july tree. And my favorite, the arbor day tree! Fun times.


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