Saturday, April 28, 2007

not hip enough to get it

I went to Rudy's Barbershop in the Pearl today for a haircut. My last cut was growing out funny and I wore a hat all last week, so it was definitely time. Anyway, I haven't had a good haircut routine since I lived in Columbus, Ohio and went to a female barber. I went on Saturdays, she gave me a caesar cut, we listened to Car Talk on NPR, I paid her, like, ten bucks and that was that. Repeat once a month.

Now that my hair is longish again, I have no idea how to communicate my needs to my haircutter, and I end up babbling some stream-of-consciousness junk to them while sort of raking my fingers through my hair and indicating lengths and dimensions here and there. They usually seem perplexed, especially when they try to restate what they've heard and I say, "No, not that. That's not what I meant."

Anyway, they probably really hate me. And this, I think, is their revenge: at the end, ALWAYS, they "style" it a little and leave me looking like a fucking idiot. Have you had this experience? Today it went like this. He said, "I'll show you a trick, if you're willing to spend one minute on styling it in the morning."

Ok, sure. I can commit one minute to styling. So he put some gel in my hair and got out the blowdryer. "You just toussle it like this with your fingers while you get most of the moisture out..." and he's blasting my head, fluffing away, and my hair is turing into a giant tangle. Then he shuts the dryer off and says, "See, there you go. Less than a minute."

Less than appealing. I look like I'd just come in out of a hurricane. It was all tanlged and disheveled and ratty looking and he just left it like that! That's taking the term "bedhead" a little too seriously in my book.

This isn't the first time this has happened, it happens nearly every time I go in. They do some weird flourish in the end, leaving my hair, for example, all brushed forward and covering my eyes, and they say, "Alright, what do you think?" And I sort of discreetly brush some of it out of my eyes so I can see it and I say, "Yeah, that looks about right." And as I get up and walk to the counter to pay, I am trying to very subtly rake it back into a shape that doesn't cry "off meds" to anyone looking at me.

Because, I guess I'm really not as hip as all that. If that's what you'd call it.


Anonymous south carolina girl said...

why don't you cut your own hair? it's what i do. and if you make a mistake, well, at least it was your mistake, and you didn't have to pay for it! and it really is fun. it makes me feel happy when i do it.

4:20 PM  
Blogger zuhn said...

Are you familiar with the "If I'm going to talk about a new haircut I have to post a photo" rule? You need to get acquainted with that one. You might want to throw up a picture of the caesar cut while you're at it.

5:33 PM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

scg -- i did cut it myself for the last three years of my caeser cut, but now that it's longish, i want it to do things that i'm not capable of coaxing out of it w/ my limited cutting skillz. it's really fine and voluminous and it has to be layered and layered and textured and textured or else it looks like a big, square bob. which i do not want.

zuhn -- uhhhh, i'll see what i can do.

6:16 PM  
Anonymous roro said...

I hear you on the "styling". I remember one time I made the mistake of telling the hairdresser that I was "going out" that evening and she proceeded to turn most of my hair into a GIANT CURL the size of a Polish sausage and then pinned it on top of my head and then sprayed it 'til it was hard like rock. Then charged me an extra $10 for "styling" and sent me out with a giant Polish rock sausage laying across my head. My girlfriend at the time took one look at me when I got in the car and asked if I'd lost a bet.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Zoe said...

zuhn is correct on the point about posting a picture of a new hair cut.

I had had my mom or my mother-in-law cut my hair for the last 15 years, they are both pretty good, but I recently started going to BP's hairdresser and he is so worth the money. He listens to me, and he knows that I'm not a girly girl so he doesn't "style" my hair. I'd let him do anything to my hair though. I'd recommend you find a good hairdresser who will listen to you and stick with him/her.

6:59 PM  
Anonymous sk said...

yes, photo - should have got one in the hairdresser - seeing you with a 'do' would have been stunning!!!

sorry Rudy's didn't show up, they did good with mine...:-(((


12:24 AM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

sk -- rudy's was fine, the cut is good, and he didnt' give me a "do" -- that's not what i meant by "style" and that's why i put it in quotes. he left me looking like i had a haystack on my head or like i'd just emerged from the bed after a really restless night. once i got home and washed the goo out of it and dried it again myself, it was much better. he actually did a good job.

10:10 AM  

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