Saturday, July 07, 2007

the inevitable snags

This thing that I'm trying to do is difficult. This casual dating thing. This non-monogamy thing. This "alone" thing. It's fine for me, but gets complicated for others. I've been hanging out with this chick, we'll call her Adventure Girl. She's the one with the kayak and the motorcycle. She's the one dragging me around on adventures.

Last night we went up the street for a drink and, in the dark, deserted back end of the bar, sitting on a couch looking out into the night through an open garage door at the opposite end of the room, she gave me the "boundaries" talk. Already we're having the boundaries talk? And we've barely just begun to hang out.

She had good points. I don't want a relationship and she doesn't want something open. As I listened, I felt the full weight of the potential selfishness of my position. Inside I was groaning, thinking "Come on Adventure Girl, lighten up! This is fun and new and not serious in any way." That's what I get for trying to adventure with a Scorpio. Too serious. Too much.

We'll keep hanging out, me and Adventure Girl, but the lines are drawn and that's that. I'm glad she's taking care of herself. And as for me... back to the ol' drawing board, I guess.


Blogger stumptown dreamer said...

i think you are trying something way out there, radical-relationships, a way of being that is close to your nature and so out of the "ordinary" (the explicit ordinary of course... if you look at the number of flirts/affairs people have in their so-called monogamous relationships, what you are doing is hardly radical at all. i think a recent UK statistic was something like 70% of marriages (hetero) had at least one affair during them, and that surely meant the 'rumpy-pumpy' and does not take into account all the flirting...).
being 'alone' is one of the most radical states, i reckon, for the human person. and some of us quietly thrive in something of it...

11:32 PM  

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