Friday, September 28, 2007

just your basic unrequieted love quadrangle

I hung out with Adventure Girl today. We met downtown for ice-cream and spent two hours planning the Halloween party we're going to host (at someone else's house...) next month. That in and of itself is a story for another post. Near the end of our festival of planning, I asked how "things" were. "Things" is my code for her secret relationship with one of our mutual kayaking buddies we'll call Sunny.

Adventure Girl and Sunny have had major chemistry from the word "go." On all our paddles, they can always be found with their heads together, giggling and looking suspicious. Often they'll raft up (where you put your boats side by side and drift) and lag behind the rest of us -- and we'll all raise our eyebrows and smirk whenever someone finally says "hey, where's Adventure Girl and Sunny?" We know where they are...

So, it came as no surprise to me when Adventure Girl finally confessed a few weeks ago that she and Sunny were involved. Although, she didn't call it "involved" -- she told me the long, convoluted story of how they made out a few times, backed off, then started up again. And she told me that Sunny thought they were "dating" and Adventure Girl thought they were "getting to know each other." Hmmm...

Anyway, why am I telling you this? Because it's interesting. After nearly two months of this secret non-relationship, things are getting rocky. Apparently, they both went to the Hot Flash dance last weekend and Adventure Girl happily accepted the "singles beads" they were handing out at the door. In case you have no imagination, I will explain that the singles beads are meant to signify to everyone in the room that you are single and looking. When Sunny saw those beads on Adventure Girl's wrist, she went mildly ballistic, which prompted Adventure Girl to go mildly ballistic back and the mild sparks flew!

Adventure Girl told me this whole story today while we sat in the last of the early fall sun in Pioneer Square and as I listened, I couldn't help but marvel at the weird coincidences of life. Adventure Girl's basic problem is that she just isn't that INTO Sunny. She likes her pretty well, enjoys the occasional make-out with her, etc... but when it comes right down to it, the big, juicy romance isn't happening. And just three months ago, I was in exactly the same place with Adventure Girl -- she wanted more and I was backing up. In fact, I had to have the exact same talk with Adventure Girl that I encouraged her today to have with Sunny. The boundaries talk.

Now, what's even more ironic is that, during the same time I was having to give the boundaries talk to Adventure Girl, I was having to GET THAT TALK from Dree! Remember Dree? I had a brief but stunning little fling with her earlier this summer and I was definitely interested in seeing more of her. Lots more. But she wasn't feeling it. The more I lingered in her periphery, making myself available, the more she backed off. The more she backed off, the more I crept forward, until she finally had to tell me explicitly to drop it.

And so there we all are, practically interchangeable. Imagine us all standing in a little line: there's Sunny looking longingly at Adventure Girl who is looking longingly at me and I'm looking longingly at Dree and Dree is looking longingly towards the exit. We make a perfect vector of disappointment.


Blogger heather said...

ah, women. everytime i think the world of wimminangst is behind me, it pops back in again.

8:06 AM  

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