Sunday, February 17, 2008

thank god my intuition is still intact

Tonight I hung out with my friend Rose at the Amnesia Brewing Company on Mississippi. Mahavira and I keep driving past Amnesia on these gorgeous, springy days, jealous of all the people hanging out on the patio, enjoying the weather and drinking a nice afternoon beer. We're jealous because we always see this scene on days when we can't join in. Today, for example, we saw it as Mahavira drove me home on her way to work. Work sucks. Life would be so much better without work.

However, even though there was no fun for Mahavira today, at least *I* was free to ramble and roam. My friend Rose had already planted the seed that we might hang out on Sunday, so I called her when I got home and we made a plan. By 5:30, Rose was here to pick me up and by 6 we were both eating sausages and drinking dark beer. Yum.

It was right around the end of my medium-hot sausage with sauerkraut when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but I recognized the area code as my dad's. My dad's whole family, actually, in North Georgia. Just so you know, I have an 89 year old grandmother who I love dearly, and whenever I get a random call from Georgia, I immediately assume the worst. I silenced the ring on my phone and told Rose my suspicions. "Dude," she said. "You should probably get that."

"No, dude," I replied, "I'm not going to find out that my grandmother is dead while I'm sitting here at this bar drinking a beer."

"Point taken."

So we kept drinking and talking and I noticed that the anxious, panicky feeling I usually get under these circumstances wasn't coming. I felt oddly calm. After about an hour my phone rang again, this time it was my grandmother's number. I could so clearly see the progression of events: my grandmother might have had a stroke or something, my family was all at the hospital and my dad borrowed a cell phone to call me and let me know. That would have been the unrecognized number. Then, maybe she died, maybe there were still family left at my grandmother's house, either way, somebody would be trying to reach me again from her phone to give me the news, to beg me to call, etc. I could see it all so plainly, yet the panic hadn't yet hit me and I silenced the call again and let it go to voicemail.

"Dude," said Rose, "I'm starting to get worried for you."

"Yeah. Thanks."

But I didn't feel worried. I don't know why. Pretty soon after that, Rose drove me home where I immediately checked my two voicemails and guess what! Nobody is dead, nobody is even ill! My dad and my grandmother had each tried to call me to see how my job interview went! Amazing. These people have never been even remotely in touch with the day-to-day issues of my life and I'd completely forgotten that they even *knew* I had an interview. How amazing. I'm still not sure why my dad called from an unrecognizeable number, but I guess time will tell.

I called my grandmother back immediately and heard all the family gossip, including information about my cousin's impending marriage. I have ten cousins and they are now almost all married. Even cousins way younger than me. I am now the absolute anomoly, holding down the queer fort with pride. Maybe me and Mahavira will get Civilly United, or whatever it is we can do now in Oregon. Either way, you can guarantee it won't involve sending wedding invitations to my cousins across the country. (I have my cousin's invitation on my desk right now, in fact, and can add it to the pile of weddings I have declined to attend over the years. Sorry, I'm boycotting straight marriages [no hard feelings, joolie]. Good luck and god bless.)

At least I know my psychic powers still work. Even though all the signs pointed to trouble, I knew in my heart of hearts that everything was ok. It was so nice to hear my grandmother's creaky little voice on the phone tonight, to hear her gossip about my cousins and laugh about her "evil" sense of humor. God I love that woman, and I am going to miss her when she's finally, actually gone.


Blogger Joolie B said...

Nope, no hard feelings. Although we would totally hook you up with a nose flute and free beer.

Glad it was just a sweet call from your grandma. Now that mine's well into her 90s but still relatively healthy, in a weird way it feels like she will just go on forever. But of course that's not true.

10:43 PM  

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