the internet is ruining my life

I could've called this one "instant gratification redux" or something -- Because this is what I meant when I started that post, but lost the meaning as I was writing somehow. I've been reflecting on my inability to leave well enough alone, my powerful urge to poke and poke at something until I've killed, and my ridiculous need for instant gratification all the time. I blame the internet!

No, really. Listen. About 8 months ago, I opened up my laptop and prepared to plug-in to my crappy, slow, dial-up service at my house, when up on my screen popped the announcement that none of my trusted wireless networks were available, but there was a new one I could join. Turns out, the new neighbors had just installed wireless and I was picking it up! Free! Eventually I fessed up to the new neighbors and offered to pay a portion of their monthly bill, but they demurred, and I've been accessing free wireless internet ever since.

This has ruined my life!! It has shortened my attention span and caused me to expect some new stimulation every 15 seconds or so. God bless the few good friends who indulge me in my obsessive e-mailing regimes (I'm talking to you, Bolesky) but christ! I'm turning into some kind of monster! And now, not satisfied with the email barrage I demand from my e-friends, I've turned to this blog. In some ways the blog is a step in the right direction -- I get no feedback whatsoever unless I solicit it (which I'm trying not to do) -- but I do get the gratification of spewing and spewing...

I've got to get myself together. I can't be scaring off mogs left and right by seeming (ok, *being*) needy. I've got to come up with an action plan. I've got to fix this thing, stat.