wanting only leaves a hole

So, nearing 10:30pm and no call from mog yet. I didn't expect it, almost didn't want it, but feeling disappointed seems to be an unavoidable element of the human condition. My mind generates hope and speculations, unbidden. I know she's babysitting until 2am. Is she waiting to put the kid to sleep? Did she neglect to put my cell number into her phone? Has she just lost track of time? Does she assume I'll be up late and ready for a call at all hours?

All this mental scrambling to avoid what I think is true: for whatever reason, she's done doing whatever it is we were doing. And that makes me sad.