not quite whining, but close

I am completely exhausted. You'd think after studying tax about 6 hours a day for the past three days I would be so proficient I could answer any tax question with ease. Well, I'm not so proficient. I almost burst into tears of panic and frustration a few minutes ago when I accessed the class website and looked for the first time at some sample multiple-choice questions like the kind we can expect on the exam tomorrow. I did not know the answers. I did not understand the questions. I'm thinking about jumping off a bridge.

I'm going to attribute this deficiency of information to the fact that I'm sleepy, my brain is over-worked, I'm too close to the material to be able to think critically about it or even retrieve it efficiently from the compartments in my brain in which it is stored, etc. I'm sure after a (hopefully good) night's sleep I'll feel much better and the tax code will unfold before me like a morning glory, opening to the sun's rays. Yeah. I doubt it.

Anyway, why isn't the world catering to my every need right now? Doesn't the world understand how hard law school exams are?? Doesn't the world see how tired and hungry and pitiful I'm feeling? Doesn't the world want to cook me dinner and give me a massage? Apparantly not. I have been commiserating with K about this issue. At least we're in the same boat, both studying like mad and both annoyed with the world at large for neglecting to recognize how singular and terrible the law school exam experience is. I don't think it is arrogant to say that nothing you have ever experienced in your life can compare to a law school exam. Just one. Multiply by four to know how I feel right now.

I can't study for tax another minute tonight. I just can't. I'll be like a two-year-old, I'll throw a tantrum, I'll throw all 1,877 pages of the (abridged!) tax code out the fucking window. I'm packing up and going to a bar. Fuck it.