sheer terror

Just closed my eyes and hit "send" on my exit-strategy message to birdlady. Why does she terrify me so??? It's a real bummer. Instead of feeling relief now, I feel sheer terror that she will somehow turn up to traumatize me further. She will, no doubt, turn up in my email in the next day or so, asking me what the hell is up. Or some variation on that. But I must be strong. What's done is done. I don't have to see her and that's all that matters. Before long it will all be over. Yay!