Wednesday, November 15, 2006


I read today that Toys for Tots, which is run by the Marines and collects toys for needy children at Christmas, turned down an offered donation of 4,000 talking Jesus dolls. The dolls, go figure, quoted scripture from the Bible. Sounds like fun to me.

The spokesperson for the Marines (much to the credit of the Marines, I must say) said that the Marines had to decline the dolls because they don't inquire into the religious backgrounds of the families to whom the toys are donated, and they would hate to wind up giving talking Jesus dolls to Jews or Muslims for Christmas. Seriously.

Forget that Christmas is supposed to be a celebration of the birthday of Jesus and, as far as I know, isn't celebrated by Jews and Muslims anyway. "Christmas" has come to be a sort of umbrella term relating to the giving and getting of stuff in December and has apparently ceased to have much connection to its old Jesusy roots. Which leads us to this sort of absurd moment when, on a holiday purportedly celebrating Jesus, it is taboo to give a Jesus related object as a gift. My conservative Christian family are probably churning out the hate-emails on this one as we speak.

They shouldn't bother. The Marine spokesperson seemed to imply that the dolls might have been turned down anyway just for being lame. He said, "the kids tend to want presents that are fun." Ouch, Jesus. I still think you're fun. Barbie can't turn water into wine and GI Joe never died for my sins. Those Marines don't know what they're talking about.


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