Monday, April 16, 2007

science is so fancy

Listen to this amazing news: scientists have figured out how to grow sperm from bone marrow stem cells. Yeah, I know, gross. But wait, there's more. Right now they've only grown sperm from boy marrow, but next they're going to try to "lure" sperm to grow from girl marrow, which would mean that WOMEN COULD FERTILIZE THEIR GIRLFRIENDS WITH NO HELP FROM BOYS! Sorry boys, nothing personal. Ok, it is personal, but whatever.

But wait, that's not all. A super-special bonus feature of this new lady-sperm: you could only make GIRL BABIES this way because lady-sperm would lack Y chromosomes. And the wildest dreams of a million lesbians just now come true: my girlfriend can knock me up and we're guaranteed a female child!! Pop open the bubbly then get me to the bone marrow clinic! It is really too good to be true.

PLEASE NOTE: the views expressed in the last paragraph of this blog post are not necessarily those of the person writing them... um... I hate kids, so don't rush ME to the bone marrow clinic. I was just acting the part of the excited lesbian wanna-be breeder. Definitely not me. Definitely, definitely not me.


Anonymous roro said...

I know I'm supposed to think that this kind of genetic manipulation is wrong, wrong, totally wrong. But what I really think is "Cool!! Where do I sign up?"

1:56 PM  
Blogger zuhn said...

Do they use tiny little silver marrow spoons? At least the babies will still be the result of boners. *rimshot*

5:58 PM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

good one zuhn. very clever.

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Shelley said...

I think it would be awfully cool to pick who got to bear the child, instead of being the default choice. Have I mentioned that the third trimester is no fun?

6:44 PM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

oooooh shelley, i don't envy you. not at all.

10:16 PM  
Anonymous south carolina girl said...

yeah, like roro, the first thing i thought was that i'm not supposed to be for this...but i am. making a woman pregnant is so far the only thing a man can do that a woman can't do, and if a woman were able to do it...

i just feel really bad for gay mens because there still isn't a way for them to make babies without women, and they've always had more trouble than lesbians i think anyway, because let's face it, what a man contributes to a pregnancy is way less involved than what a woman contributes. so it's probably very hard to find a woman willing to give that much of herself for a baby that won't be hers, and gay and lesbian couples have a lot of discrimination when it comes to adopting.

it's still unfortunate, though, that if a man gets a woman pregnant the old-fashioned way, it's pleasant for him...i imagine it would be more unpleasant to have bone marrow extracted from one's body...

7:09 AM  

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