Tuesday, April 03, 2007

sick log: day two

I'm not going to work today either. I just decided. Yesterday, SK insisted I stay home. Today, I had to decide for myself. I hate calling in sick to work, unless I'm actively vomiting. Otherwise, I usually drag myself in and suffer through.

Of all the bad things my mother taught me (how *not* to balance a checkbook, how *not* to pay back student loans), one thing she did, incongruously, instill in me was a masochistic work ethic. She NEVER called in sick and I would sometimes beg her to just stay home as she was dragging her sick body out the door to one of her shitty jobs. It always pained me to see her sick and leaving for work, knowing as I did that, as a single mother making barely above minimum wage, she was petrified of missing work for fear of the whole delicate thing crashing down around her.

So now, when I take a sick day, I feel a weird guilt for shirking my work, even though I'm not a single mom and I make well above minimum wage. I still feel a kind of masochistic thing that tells me I suck just a little for not bucking up and going in anyway. Although, I'm sure my coworkers would prefer to work with an on-caller rather that me, someone coughing and hacking and spreading my germs everywhere.

Yeah. And on that note, I think I'll go lay back down. I feel like shit.


Anonymous roro said...

Hope you feel better soon! I always think it's best to stay home when you're sick. Drink tea! Snooze!

My mom had the same crazy work ethic and issues around sick days. You had to be bleeding out your eyes to be allowed to stay home from school. Then, when I was in 12th grade, she had a nervous breakdown and discovered her inner child and started saying things like "Honey, you look tired. You can stay home from school if you want." It was a confusing time.

9:19 PM  

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