Monday, April 30, 2007

substance abuse

Last Thursday, at work, I drank three-quarters of a cup of caffeinated coffee in my writing group, and I found myself turbo-energized. Not only did I immediately do my billing and update our writing group blog (after an embarrassingly long lapse) but I also cleaned the kitchen and swept three flights of stairs... just because.

So yesterday, when I went to my second choice coffeeshop on Alberta (since I can never again step foot inside the Black Cat b/c the nasty ex-wife might show up) and was told, once again, that they were completely out of decaf beans (which, I think, is a conspiracy perpetrated by the poser behind the counter), I thought to myself, "hey, one cup of caffeinated coffee won't kill me."

I was wrong. In fact, it DID kill me. I DID die yesterday from jittering and heart palpatations, but my body had so much residual energy left in it, I sprang immediately back to life.

Anyway, my point is: I can't drink caffeine in full doses. Ever. Under any circumstances.

And I should also lay off the beer. You know about my Saturday escapade with the lawschool people. Then, last night, I saw my friends Hoot and Dre and drank too much AGAIN. What is wrong with me?

Hoot and Dre are two of my oldest Portland friends and our friendship spans many years of hanging out and drinking too much. Granted, the definition of "too much" has changed over time (it now equals about half the beer it used to), but still: when we get together we don't quite know what else to do, so we drink.

It's kinda sad. There's absolutely nothing cool to report about the hanging out. Just that I came home soggy with beer, went to bed heavy, and woke up in a panic at 1:30am because I didn't know where I was. It was like I woke up and didn't recognize my life. I'd been dreaming about my college town (Boone, North Carolina), and feeling so fully present there. When I woke up, it was almost like all my memory of living on the west coast was temporarilly inaccessible. If I wasn't still in Boone, and I wasn't in Georgia with my family, then where the fuck was I??

It was such a freaky feeling, I slept the rest of the night with the bathroom light on. My dark apartment (which I usually love so much and in which I feel so content and safe) was still too unknown. I wanted to be able to see everything.

Anyway, I obviously blame the beer. My body is much happier when I'm careful about what I put in it. My mind is happier too. I don't otherwise wake up in a cold sweat, or hungover, for that matter. Next time, maybe I'll see if Hoot and Dre want to go roller skating at Oaks Park -- we can do that w/o beer and that would ROCK. I love to roller skate.

4 Comments:

Blogger Zoe said...

You're not by chance taking any kind of decongestants for allergies right now are you? I had what I thought was an issue with caffeine. It turened out to be a sudafed issue, particularly when mixed with caffeine.

12:44 PM  
Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

nope, no meds right now. my body just can't handle the caffeine anymore. it started last december when i was really sick for awhile. ever since then, i haven't been able to handle full-strength coffee. at home, my coffee is a blend of a quarter caffeinated beans, and three quarters decaf. out in the world, i drink decaf americanos. i drink black tea, but that doesn't have much caffeine, so it's ok.

12:59 PM  
Blogger zuhn said...

I have the same problem with cocaine. Sucks.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Melinda Barton said...

Zuhn, don't know ya, but you just made me laugh a bit too hard in the office. I'm gonna get busted now, thanks. haha

11:21 AM  

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