how i ended up with a (kickass) abba cd

At work a couple of weeks ago, a particularly squirrelly sort of client came down to the Drop In Center with an Abba cd. He's a nice guy, just kinda anxious. He loves Abba and played a couple of his (crappier) Abba cds for us before -- but this time he brought down Abba Gold, the one with all the good stuff on it, like "Take a Chance on Me" and "Dancing Queen" and, of course, "Fernando."

Not only does this client love Abba, but he also loves making everybody happy with his music, so when he put the cd on (in the staff cd player, which is located behind the staff desk) and everybody in the whole Drop In Center perked up and started singing along, this guy was ecstatic. You couldn't wash the smile off his face with a gallon of Simple Green.

Anyway, it only got better when Fat Tony resurfaced from his break and, finding the Abba not to his taste, said "Hey, you guys. I can't take this. I'm changing the music." You have to understand that Fat Tony frequently subjects the whole Drop In Center to HIS music which often sounds like mating cats, and when people complain, he tells them they're broadening their cultural horizons. And of course he does not change the music.

When Fat Tony threatened to pull the plug on Abba, the whole Drop In Center erupted in protests. "We've had to listen to *your* shitty music for years, now you have to listen to OURS!" (I might have been the one to say that... but believe me, I was speaking for the people.) "YAY!!" Everybody cheered and enjoyed the music all the more knowing that Fat Tony was suffering. Ah sweet musical revenge.

So, a good time was had by all except Fat Tony. At the end of the night, right before our shift was over, Fat Tony noticed that the client hadn't picked up his cd. I watched as Fat Tony took the cd out of the player, put it back in its case, put a sticky-note on it with the client's name, and then put it in the top drawer of the staff desk. To his credit, he didn't try to smash the Abba cd or throw it in the garbage. This happened at 11:30pm.

The next day, I happened to be at work at 2pm when the client, anxious as ever, came down to the desk and asked for his cd back. "No problem," I said and opened the desk drawer where it had JUST BEEN a mere THIRTEEN HOURS BEFORE. And it was gone. I looked everywhere while the anxious client stood back and watched. It had been right there in the staff desk and it was gone -- no matter what happened to it, it was our fault. Did one of us steal it?? Did someone else steal it while we weren't paying attention. Either way, we fucked up.

I felt bad and the client felt anxious, so I reassured him that we'd replace the cd if we couldn't find it. Replacing a client's lost property isn't something we typically do. Otherwise, we'd be buying a lot of people a lot of shit. We have a "keep an eye on your own shit" policy and I shouldn't have offered to get this guy a new cd, but christ, just this once it was ACTUALLY OUR FAULT that something went missing and I just felt like it was the right thing to do.

I asked the client to give me a few days to investigate and see if the cd turned up. It didn't. Every single day that I worked, the client came up and anxiously asked me about his cd. Finally, I resolved to just go up to Everyday Music and buy him a copy myself, but I got busy, so that took a few more days, (a few more days for this client to harrass me about his fucking cd).

I saw the client Wednesday night and I said, "Look, dude. I swear, I will bring you a replacement cd tomorrow. I promise." (Now leave me alone, for christ's sake.) Even though I had to be at work super early on Thursday, I caught the even earlier bus downtown and walked up to Everyday Music and right there, in the first rack at the front of the store, was Abba Gold. Eight bucks used. Awesome.

I bought it, walked to work, gave it to the client and all was well.

Then... later that day... when I was going through the staff desk looking for a can opener (don't ask)... guess what I saw? You'll never guess in a million years! I swear, you won't believe it! YES, I FOUND HIS GODDAMN ABBA GOLD CD!!! WTF???

I checked that desk four times! How did I miss the cd??? Am I blind?? Other people checked the desk too, are we all blind?? Or did someone take the Abba cd home, burn it, and bring it back...??? We'll never know. All I know is that I am now the proud owner of an Abba Gold cd and I'm actually pretty psyched about it. It makes me shake my booty.

The end.