i am insane
So, to that end, I have done crazy things. First, I wrote an out of the blue email to a woman I have never met. A mysterious and sexy woman I sorta "know of" for a variety of reasons named (something in the ballpark of) Mahavira. When I first came to town, my friend Leo was embroiled in this crazy affair with Mahavira. She was always talking about how deep and intense and passionate this woman was. That ended years ago and since then, Mahavira has continued to turn up in my periphery. She works with a queer youth group and came to one of my law school classes to give a presentation, that was the first time I laid eyes on her. I suddenly understood all Leo's angst from 2001. Wow. After that, her name has come up over and over from all sorts of random people.
So yesterday, after hearing her name once again from my roller derby friend, I looked her up online, found her email address, and wrote her. I told her some of the different ways she keeps intersecting my path, I told her I wanted to meet her, I told her to call Leo or my roller derby friend for references to determine that I'm smart, reasonably cute and not crazy. (Mostly not crazy...) And I actually sent it. And that was *before* I started drinking.
After that, I went downtown to meet Waspy for drinks at Hobo's. There's a really cute server there who's been there for years and she NEVER PAYS ME ANY ATTENTION. I have been checking her out forever, and I never get the slightest glimmer back from her. Nothing. In fact, Wings and I went into Hobo's that weekend when she was here and Wings confirmed that that woman wasn't sending the slightest signals of interest my way. Wings concluded she must be straight. I doubt it.
For whatever reason, though, last night was different. Maybe it's my cool new haircut, whatever it was, she was looking my way a LOT. More often than not, when I glanced up to check her out, I found her eyes already on me. Oh yeah. Waspy kept rolling her eyes and offering to leave me alone with my new girlfriend. After three beers and a lot of very interesting, provokative conversation with Waspy (and two hours of intermittent eye-contact with the hot server) I decided to make a move.
Waspy left and I remained at the table for a few minutes, listening to a voicemail I'd gotten and planning my strategy. In the end I opted for the most painless: I wrote my name and email address on the back of my reciept and gave it to Nathan, the cute bartender who'd been our server all night. I said, "This may be really foolish, but would you give this to your very attractive female coworker?" He grinned a face splitting, devilish grin, winked at me and said "sure honey."
Oh I love gay boys. His devilish grin could just as easily have been at my expense. He may have been thinking "Sure, you stupid cow, I'll give it to her and she'll laugh because her girlfriend is so much hotter than you and she's already been making fun of your bad haircut all night." Gay boys are tricky like that. But who knows. I left the bar feeling completely insane. Then I came home and Leo called. We ended up going across town to eat spicy fries at Dot's and talk about life. She just interviewed for a position at a university library in Baton Rouge and, while I love Leo and wish her career success, I really do not want her to move away from Portland. So I'm torn. And I told her about writing Mahavira and she laughed at me and said that, knowing Mahavira, she'd probably write me back pretty soon. Interesting.
I went to bed wondering if I'd wake up completely sober this morning and throw my hands in the air crying out "My god, what have I done??" But no. I still feel pretty ok. Nothing in my in-box yet though...