i'll have to get right with god again next year

I am stuck at my job for a double shift because the old, brain-damaged hippie who is supposed to relieve me is missing-in-action. He was supposed to be here at midnight and now it's 12:45 and not only is he not here, he's not answering his stupid phone, the dirty bastard. I guess I'll be sad if it turns out he choked to death on a sandwich or something legit, but that's pretty unlikely. I'm sure he just overslept (again, just like last week). Good for him. Old, brain damaged-hippies need their sleep, right? Unlike busy young whipper snappers like me who divide their time evenly between work and law school. We don't need sleep, we survive on sheer will and caffeine, right? WRONG! I love sleep!! I need sleep!! I don't want to be awake all fucking night you stupid hippie!!! I have class tomorrow! I have shit to do! I have a life!