Tuesday, January 16, 2007

dear lady at the coffeeshop

CC: to guy in the coffeeshop Sunday night.

I am so happy that you both have good jobs. I am also very impressed with your fancy telephone headsets and your laptops. That's great. Technology is obviously working for you! I'm also *really* happy to see that you've been unfettered from that prison of an office that you would otherwise be working in. Thank god for small miracles, right? Right.

But really, the reason I'm writing you is to ask you to shut the fuck up in the coffeeshop. Perhaps put a little faith in the technology you're using to communicate: your phone should transmit your voice just fine. You don't have to SHOUT. Believe it or not, nobody in the coffeeshop is all that interested in the mundane details of the business deals you're working out.

I'm sure you're proud of yourself and maybe your mom is proud of you too. That's good. I'd just like you to be a little quieter. I mean, look at me, I'm wearing earplugs and you're halfway across the room and I still feel like you're sitting in my lap and screaming in my ear. It's really not necessary. I know, I know: it's the risk I take trying to study in a public place. But whatever happened to common courtesy? Was there ever such a thing?

In closing, I implore you: lower your voice because you're making my head swim and my eyes water and, really, if you could see yourself right now (and the glares from the rest of the people in here) you'd probably be ashamed of yourself. Thanks,



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